Mary Jane

Oh marijuana. In the US, weed has become something that in some states in legal, others it is medically legal, others it is still illegal. Across the country it is one of the most used drugs out there. I know many people who smoke who use it on the daily. But what I think many people don’t know, understand, or see is how addictive it can truly be.

I was someone who loved to smoke. I would do it whenever I could, where ever I could. I got good at hiding it, and then when my grandpa found out I still smoked it openly. I would buy it almost every three days because I was going through it so fast. I had a vaporizer that made it easier to use on a daily basis and easier to smoke in other places. I loved it. I loved everything about it. I wouldn’t smoke before work because it was annoying to have to be there while stoned, but when I got home, went to the gym, or my plan was to just hang out I smoked it.

What I didn’t realize is that I was addicted to it. I didn’t see how my life had slowly but surely started to revolve around the next time I could smoke. I didn’t realize how I craved it when doing certain activities because it became a normal thing for me to do. I started smoking it before the gym because it made my workouts more fun in a way, but what I didn’t see is that workouts became harder for me to do while sober. I would come home from work or school and smoke and chill out for a bit, but I was still getting stuff done. I was a functioning stoner. It’s not much better than being an alcoholic in many ways. You become dependent on it.

I see many of my friends on social media posting about how awesome it is to smoke. I’ll be honest, it is. Being stoned is a great feeling. You’re relaxed, everything becomes funnier, food tastes better, it eases pain, I could go on and on about how great it is. But when I see these people who smoke every day, who post about loving it, I get jealous, but then I remember what kind of toll it took on my life. I would spend a good part of my paycheck on it. I would think about smoking all the time. I would smoke at times it wasn’t appropriate for me to do so. I see these people and wonder if they’re abusing it in the same way I was. are they like how I was? Always chasing that high?

My tolerance for it became so high that I had to smoke more and more to achieve the same kind of high I once got from taking a few hits. It went from being able to smoke one joint or a couple of hits off a bowl to having to smoke a whole bowl at a time to achieve what I was looking for. I started vaping it because it was better than smoking a bowl due to combustion being worse for you than convection heating. I was doing what I thought was healthier but really wasn’t. Grinding up the herb, spending countless hours in my garage trying new things, relaxing, was something I did enjoy. It was an escape and a hobby looking back on it.

I would read about it and different methods of smoking or using it. Learning about how when you vape you can use the used herb, known as ABV, to make edibles and get high that way. It was, and still is, interesting to me. I like the chemical reaction, how it affects your body, how it seems so harmless. I see the medical benefits to it. I see how it can stimulate appetite for cancer patients going through chemo, how it can help ease the pain from arthritis. I see how it helps because it did help me get through some tough points in my life, but I’m assuming a meth addict could tell you the same thing.

I think that smoking occasionally, just like drinking, can be a fun activity. Something special to do to celebrate or just unwind with friends. I think the occasional use is good. Using a drug can be a slippery slope though. I think once you feel that high you crave it. To be happy, to find everything amusing. Using coke occasionally can be exactly the same situation. “Well, I only do it every once in a while” turns into “my life depend on it” in almost a blink of an eye.

I think just like alcohol it should be regulated. I still am an advocate for weed being legalized. I think we need regulation on it. I think having a legal age limit, dispensaries who are monitored for quality are things that can not only help people but our economy. Colorado has made a ton of tax money off of the legalization which they have put towards schools and road work. I think there are more benefits to it being legal than people who are against it can see. With regulations that people have to follow we can get the product that is laced off of the street. We can stop criminalizing so many people for a crime that in the long run is not as bad as other drugs. We can fund research on it so the medical benefits can be better utilized. I’m not an advocate for it to be legalized so we can all walk around smoking, but so that it can be regulated, taxed, and be monitored so that it is safe for users to use.

Marijuana took over my life. It made me dependent on it in the same way people become addicted to nicotine. I thought about it constantly. I no longer smoke for reasons related to my mental health, but I still miss it. I miss being chilled out in a way that was physical. I miss the way it made me feel. But I know that it is no longer a good thing for me. I just hope it becomes legalized for others, so that it can be used safely, just as alcohol can be used safely. For me I think the benefits of it being legalized out weigh the negatives, but that’s just my own opinion. Marijuana can be addictive, regardless of what people may think. I am the living proof of that.

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