Being in love

What being in love is like is, to me, like eating a really good pizza that never ends. To quote Grey’s Anatomy, “you’re my person” is a great way to describe someone. To feel full, happy, loved is something I hope everyone can experience in their life. There is nothing like having that one person who gives you butterflies regardless if you’ve been together four months or forty years. To have that person who is always there for you, who doesn’t judge you for where you’ve been or what you’ve done is freeing in a way.

I have been in a relationship where I was unhappy. I was with him for over two years. I learned a lot about myself and who I was and who I wanted to be with in that time, and for that I am grateful. I was unhappy because while I loved him dearly, I wasn’t in love. I saw the flaws and what I didn’t like, but I said nothing out of fear of hurting him. I loved spending time with him, but it seemed like it was forced. I was annoyed most of the time, but kept quiet until it boiled over and we would fight. I hated who I was in that relationship but I thought I would never find someone else who could love me that way.

Being in a relationship where one person is unhappy is unhealthy in so many ways shape and form. It is forced, it is hurtful, it makes you feel trapped. You don’t want what you had for a long time to end. You don’t want to lose someone who has made you feel so loved in so many ways. You can’t imagine living without that person because they have been in your life for so long. You don’t remember what it’s like to be single, alone. You don’t remember who you used to be or what you used to do when you were alone. I think we’re all afraid to be alone at the end of the day, which makes breaking up with someone who you have been with for a long time harder than anything. For me, I was afraid of that aloneness.

That relationship ended. I was alone. I was scared. But it taught me what I was looking for in a partner, for who I wanted to be with. I found someone who I can be honest with, who makes me happy in ways I could imagine before. He makes me laugh, he makes me want to be my best person for him, to be who I am with no bounds. I see hope and love and understanding when I look at him. I see home. I see comfort.

Being in love with someone who is your best friend is indescribable. It’s like having your person, who someone has led you to for whatever reason it may be. Someone who understands you, who matches your energy, your humor, you passions in life. For me, my person was put into my life at the worst possible time. I was depressed, going through a lot mentally and emotionally. I was not my best self, but he saw through that. He has helped pick me back up and make sure I am who I want to be, where I want to go, has shown me that someone can love me for who I am.

I believe in guardian angels and fate. I believe that there is someone for everyone out there. I think your angels send people to you when you need hem the most. Sometimes they are people who end up hurting you, but you learn a lesson from that. I think they show you people who you need to have in your life in someway, even if you can’t see it at the time. I believe they show you who you should be with in life because they can see who you are and who they are and see how you would click with that person. I think you are lucky if you have found someone you can be your whole self with and feel no judgement from them. I am blessed because I have found someone like that. I am not afraid to say something weird, I am not afraid of judgement for my quirks, I am not afraid to be me.

I love him for who he is, for his past, for his present, and for his future. I love his humor, his kindness towards me or other people. I love watching him and seeing how he gracefully moves even when he doesn’t see that himself. I love seeing him grow, seeing how he learns. I love watching movies with him, to see his face light up at the funniest parts. I love hearing his laugh at things that, lets be honest, aren’t even funny. I love seeing his joy, his hope, his worth. I know some can’t see everything in a person that they are with. Our relationship is still new, we haven’t been together that long, but I feel as if I have known him all my life. I am comfortable with him in every way and I love it.

Being in love is a bliss. It is happiness, it is hope, it is that heartbeat that seems to match yours. You see this person and just see everything you have wanted. You see the person that when you were younger wanted to be with. You see that prince to your princess when you were small, you see that soul that makes your heart sing songs. You miss them when you don’t see them and long for their hugs at the end of the day. You are happy in ways you couldn’t even dream of. Being happy, truly happy, is amazing in ways you couldn’t even dream of. Everyone deserves that feeling in their life, but it can be hidden in people you wouldn’t think of. Love finds a way and your angels push you in the direction that can hurt, but at the end of the day make you feel that bliss that being in love brings to you.

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